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Well, the B in BDSM involves consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic and/or somatosensory (tactile) stimulation.
But how do you introduce something that conjures up images of leather fetish gear, gimp masks and twisted rope, into a bedroom that rarely hosts anything riskier than Reverse Cowgirl?
‘A lot of people think, “I’ve got to pick one”, or “I’m the guy so I have to go on top”.
Throughout experimentation, you might well find that you favour one over the other, or quite dramatically hate being a sub.
- they are just a bit less effective:-( I take two spray bottles and fill one with two cups of water and baking soda, and the other one - with the remaining two cups of water and a few drops of essential oil.
Then I shake both bottles up very well - especially the baking soda one to make sure soda dissolves nicely in water.
So then it’s about deciding what roles, and then they might say, ‘can you be a police officer and tie me up? ’’ When couples are broaching the subject of bondage, they often feel pressure to label themselves as either the submissive or the dominant partner.
Jess says that for first timers, this is irrelevant.
Jess says that it’s important, therefore, to establish a safety word before you begin: ‘It means everyone knows that there’s complete trust in the scenario, and you know that just saying one word will stop play immediately.’ The concept of a safety word can be daunting: ‘Some people who are complete novices might think, “If I need a safety word, this must be some really scary play”, but it really isn’t.First things first: Experts recommend that you don’t embark on your first bondage experience with a near-stranger. Drop some hints first Many people are put off experimenting with bondage because they don’t know how to broach the subject with their partner.This is something that Lovehoney’s bondage expert Jess Wilde is used to: ‘Never mind not knowing what to buy, a lot of our customers don’t necessarily know how to say to their partner, ‘Oh hey, honey, can you tie me up and spank me tonight?We have a safety word for all kinds of sex, and that’s usually ‘No’.But when it comes to fetish play, ‘No’ might not be enough because it might be part of the play, so that’s why we talk about safety words.